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Stress is the usual cause of my anxiety attacks. I used to take Clonazepam for it, but I got addicted so I stopped it. Now I smoke a pipe or two. I like that better than the clonazepam. I can control my dose to exactly what I need and it wears off in a comparatively short time. Sometimes I only need 1 or 2 doses to calm me down. Once I am feeling better I have no need for any more drugs. The psychiatric chemicals stay in your system much longer and build up over time causing all kinds of horrible side effects. I hate them.
This is what stress feels like to me.
When I am under Stress I experience things mentaly as well as phsyically. I find myself unable to regulate my body temperature and get cold chills and hot flushes. I never correlate this problem with Stress at the time and always worry I am sick in someway. Or I begin to worry the furnace is not working properly. I play with the thermastat all the time, never satisfied with the current setting.
I feel fatigued. I can't get dressed, have a shower, or even clean up after myself. If I need something from the store it is a major ordeal to convince myself I can do it. Then I have to get ready. This is hard because usually all my clothes are dirty. It takes a herculian effort just to go to the corner store.
Extreme, prolonged Stress causes me to loose my mind. I find myself laughing hysterically and can't stop. The very next minute I am crying and deeply depressed. I pace in circles and sing repetitive nursery rhymes. I have feelings at these times I am going crazy or losing control of my mind. When this happens to me I also feel lightheaded, dizzy, and faint. The little child in me comes forth and I feel quite childlike. This is my Borderline Personality Disorder kicking in... Hypomania.
My guts go nuts when I am under Stress. I get recurring abdominal discomfort. I feel bloated. I have to run back and forth to the toilet whether anything is accomplished or not. I always have the feeling "I gotta go".
The Stress triggers my Anxiety and my heart begins to palpitate and pound. My blood pressure rises significantly and I feel dizzy and sick. I think I am having a stroke and going to die. Panic sets in right about here.
I find myself all tensed and curled up on the couch rocking back and forth and my legs jumping up and down. My breaths are coming in short puffs and I get the sensation of not being able to breath. My vision is impaired and I can't see the TV any more.
My hands go tingly and numb. I have to keep wringing them to make the circulation work again. I also get very itchy and the more I scratch the worse it gets and seems to spread. So I have to endure the itch and not scratch. I'm not always successful at this and end up with scratches and scrapes all over my hands and arms, legs and feet.
When I get so stressed out I usually take a couple big tokes and go lie down for a bit. If I am not okay in an hour I repeat the toke and lie down again.
Stress
Positive stress comes from minor stressful stituations like being late for an appointment or a report at work is needed on time. The need to achieve your goals creates a flood of positive stress. And by acheiving your goals you are rewarded for the stress you extended.
Negative stress comes from major stressful situations like worrying about money, childrearing, and friendships. Negative stress results in ill-health. Stress related symptoms can be seen physically, psychologically and behaviourally.
Physical Symptoms
Symptoms of physical stress are anxiety, sleeplessness, and fatigue. Your immune system is functioning at a low level and you run the risk of catching the latest bug that is going around. You seem to have various aches and pains, high blood pressure, headaches and migraines, body temperature fluctuations, heart pounding and palpitations, physical numbness, irritable bowel syndrome, skin irritations, loss of or increase of appetite, excessive thirst, never feeling rested.
Psychological symptoms
Psychological symptoms are debilitating. They show up as anxiety attacks, reactive depression, thoughts of suicide, stress breakdown, forgetfulness, poor memory function, poor concentration, flashbacks, excessive guilt, disbelief and confusion and bewilderment "why me?", an unusual degree of fear, sense of isolation, insecurity, and desperation.
Behavioural symptoms
Behavioural symptoms are far ranging but the more common ones include tearfulness, irritability, angry outbursts, obsessiveness, mood swings, isolation, indecision, loss of humour, teeth grinding, picking, scratching, tics, increased reliance on drugs (caffeine, nicotine, pot, alcohol, sleeping drugs, tranquillisers, and antidepressants) to numb the pain, and comfort spending.
Effects on personality
Effects on personality can be seen by a shattered self-confidence, very low self-esteem, a low self-image, and a loss of self-worth. There is no self-love.
The effects of stress can be seen as completely debilitating. A person may be so traumatised that they are unable to articulate their strong feelings of fear, shame, embarrassment, and guilt. Early signs of exccesive stress are poor concentration, impaired memory, and fatigue.
Fatigue
The fight or flight syndrome, is in place for responding to danger, but when activated for abnormally long periods, it causes the body's physical, mental and emotional batteries to drain dry. There is loss of strength and stamina, and adult-onset diabetes.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (formerly ME, myalgic encephalomyelitis, also called Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndrome [CFIDS] and Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome). The main symptoms are:
- overwhelming fatigue
- pains in the joints and muscles with no obvious cause
- occasional bursts of energy, followed by exhaustion and joint/muscle pain
- inability to concentrate
- poor recall, eg words, sentence construction, etc
- mood swings, including anger and depression
- difficulty in learning new information
- sense imbalances, eg in smell, taste and appetite
- dislike of loud noises and bright lights
- inability to control body temperature
- sleep disturbance (eg sleeping by day and waking at night)
- disturbance of balance
- clumsiness, eg unable to grasp small objects, inability to separate sheets of paper
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a chronic condition with long term effects on health on a par with illnesses such as multiple sclerosis and motor neurone disease. Early diagnosis helps with the relieving the symptoms. The syndrome is not well understood, but a virus in the same family of enteroviruses as multiple sclerosis (MS) and polio is thought to be implicated. The only cure is complete rest. Exercise, which in people without CFS strengthens the body and aids good health, makes the condition worse. CFS is often linked to stress and trauma, although the stressors may not always be obvious.
Reactive depression
One of the symptoms of psychiatric injury is reactive depression - it is a reaction to an external event. The chemistry of reactive depression is different to clinical or endogenous depression (which is associated with mental illness)
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