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Few socialphobics have ever heard of of someone else with this problem. It is not an illness that is commonly discussed in the media. The socialphobic often thinks that they are the only one in the whole world who suffers from these terrible symptoms. Fearing people would not understand them intensifies the socialphobia problem. This causes them to remain at a distance from others and to avoid seeking help. Unfortunately, when a person does finally gets up the nerve to seek help, the chances that they can find it are very, very slim.
Being Socialphobic means I have a never ending fear of social situtations. I feel that my behavior will be scrutinized by others and I will be poorly judged. When I feel this way I get panicy and have to leave the situation.
Living with socialphobia is very depressing. I have become housebound over the years. I feel like I have self-imposed a life sentence of solitary confinement. I get very lonely but I cannot do anything about it. With my other illnesses in various stages of coming and going I can feeling so bad I just want to end it all. The pain at these times is indescribable.
My illness has manifested to a point where I can no longer enjoy my life. I can't leave my house without a great deal of stress. Some days I am okay to go to familiar places like doctors offices or to the grocery store. Bad days will find me locked in my house with the curtains drawn hiding from "them". I have not been able to work in the last 20 years. I can't go places alone. I never for coffee. I can't go to a movie. I miss all the attractions coming to town. I have trouble visiting my grandchildren.
My Triggers
1). Going out - This is a major task if I make myself do it. I worry so deeply I find it hard to just get ready to go. My apprehension usually starts the day before I have to go. I need to know I have clothes to wear, what the weather will be like and how I'm going to get there. I double check the address a dozen times and will even cruise the area a day or two before so I won't get lost. I plan exactly what time I will need to start to get ready and what streets I will take. If I can't figure this out I won't go. I worry that I won't wake up on time and I miss the appointment. Or I get scared that I will totally forget the appointment entirely. This would produce feelings of embarrassment and humiliation.
2). Public Performance - When I do get out in public I am tortured by fear and anxiety. My stress level goes to an all time high. For instance, if I go to the store I am sure "they" are watching me walk. I get so self-consicious that I get very stiff-legged and trip over things. Like the cracks in the sidewalks. This humiliates me and I then fear falling over. By the time I get to my destination I am in the panic zone. My mind can't think. I begin to fear I have soiled my panys and get scared that "they" will see. So I quickly I grab what I can remember and leave. Most of the time I have forgotten 1 or 2 items and have to repeat the process. This sort of adventure leaves me feeling exhausted and it take me the rest of the day to recover. If I have to sign something I get very nervous. I am sure the person watching my hand siging my signature is thinking I am a crook and doing forgery. My blood pressure feels like its way up there and my face goes red. I feel humiliated and I just want to get out of there as fast as I can.
3). Meeting strangers - Being introduced to someone at work, school, or at some public event is extremely difficult and awkward. I am so afraid that they are judging me as to my appearance and my intellect. I begin to sweat, my heart races and my ears ring. I can barely hear what the person is saying. I react as if I do and try to change the subject. If feel so out of place. I leave after a little bit because I feel so uncomfortable. I have to get away from the situation.
4). Being criticized - I think this is the worst part for me. When my perfomance is criticized for doing a poor job at something, I get so embarrassed. I am humiliated that I didn't achieve their standards. I perspire, my mind races, I feel guilty and i want to quit whatever it is and leave to hide my shame. I think they are saying I'll never be able to the job properly. I take it very personally. I feel like my world just crashed in around my ears and that I am the biggest loser. I am sure I am the only one to have screwed up.
5). Being the center of attention - When attention is directed towards me I begin to panic. I worry about my appearance. My whole being freezes. I can't think or speak. I forget instantly what the topic was and search my brain for the answer. My brain goes to mush and I cannot form a thought. I am intensly aware that they are waiting for a response and they are going to judge my whole personality on the next words I utter. I stay quite in public so I won't be noticed.
6). Public speaking - I couldn't do it in school and I can't do it now. It is major stage fright I guess. There is no way I'll ever find myself in a situation like that ever again.
7). People in authority - I feel like a sub-human around these people. I am sure my doctor knows everything about me and my body and judges me negatively. If I speak with someone in uniform I am sure they think I am a fugative. I am sure they are judging my every move and see all my faults. I feel small, unintelligent and I react in wierd ways. I fear people will not understand me.
8). Embarrassing easily - Embarrassment is humiliating. If I think I had done something to embarrass myself I can never forget the incident. It mortifies me every time I think about it. It lives with me forever. If I embarrass myself I blush. I am inetensly aware that it is noticable and this humiliates me. I get so distressed I wash my face in cold water to make it go away.
9). Meeting someone's eyes - I can't meet someone elses eyes. I look for a second and then look away. It unnerves me to no end. If I get caught looking up then I get so nervous that I forget what I am saying. I forget the whole topic. Then I feel dumb and think the person I am with will consider me really stupid.
One thing that all socially anxious people share is the knowledge that their thoughts and fears are basically irrational. That is, people with social anxiety know that others are really not critically judging or evaluating them all the time. The person recognizes that the fear is excessive or unreasonable. They understand that people are not trying to embarrass or humiliate them. They realize that their thoughts and feelings are somewhat exaggerated and irrational. Yet, despite this rational knowledge, they still continue to feel differently. It is these automatic "feelings" and thoughts that occur around social situations that must be met and conquered in therapy. Usually these anxious feelings are tied to thoughts that are entwined in a vicious cycle of negative expectations and negative appraisals. It is a catch-22 situation: there is no way out without the appropriate therapy.
People with socialphobia are many times seen by others as being shy, quiet, backward, withdrawn, inhibited, unfriendly, nervous, aloof, and disinterested. In the past they were told to face up to their fears and get on with their lives. People with Socialphobia want to be "normal" socially, they want to make friends and they want to be involved and engaged in social interactions. Having Socialphobia prevents people from being able to do the things they want, however. They quite often end up hermits shunning the outside world.
Individuals with the disorder are acutely aware of the physical signs of their anxiety and fear that others will notice, judge them, and think poorly of them. Adults usually recognize that their fears are unfounded or excessive, but suffer them nonetheless.
Onset of the disorder is usually in mid to late adolescence, but children have also been diagnosed with Socialphobia. Children with the disorder are prone to excessive shyness, clinging behavior, tantrums and even mutism. There is usually a marked decline in school performance and the child will often try to avoid going to school or taking part in age appropriate social activities. Their fears are centered on peer settings rather than social activities involving adults, with whom they may feel more comfortable.
Socialphobia does not come and go like some other physical and psychological problems. If you have socialphobia one day......you have it every day for the rest of your life.....
Triggering Symptoms:
People with Socialphobia usually experience significant distress in the following situations:
Being introduced to other people
Being teased or criticized
Being the center of attention
Social situations where the person exhibits excessive self-consciousness
Being watched or observed while doing something
Having to say something in a formal, public situation
Meeting people in authority ("important people/authority figures")
Feeling insecure and out of place in social situations ("I don't know what to say.")
Embarrassing easily (e.g., blushing)
Meeting other peoples' eyes
Socialphobia
DSM-IV Definition
Socialphobia is a persistent fear, without apparent justification of social or performance situations. A person may feel that their behavior well be scrutinized by others, leading to embarrassment and a anxiety response in the form of a situationally bound or a situationally predisposed Panic Attack.
ONSET:
COMMON: Mid-teens.
LESS COMMON: Emergence from social inhibition ( including shyness ) in childhood.
Diagnostic Criteria ( DSM-IV )
NOT DUE TO A SUBSTANCE, GENERAL MEDICAL CONDITION, OR OTHER DISORDER.
SEE: CAUSING ANXIETY.
Persistent and marked fear of showing the symptoms of anxiety, humiliating, or embarrassing ones self in a social or performance situation(s). There may be more then one social or performance situation that renders fear. Children will show anxiety in peer settings and not just then interacting with adults.
Exposure to the social or performance situation(s) that is feared, can lead to embarrassment and a anxiety response in the form of a situationally bound or a situationally predisposed Panic Attack. In children the anxiety may be expressed it the form of crying, tantrums, freezing up, or clinging.
Recognize this fear is excessive or unreasonable, children may not recognize this.
The feared social or performance situation(s) may be avoid or endured with intense distress and interferes significantly with a persons normal daily routine. ( E.g., school, work, social activities, relationships )
If under 18 symptoms present of at least 6 months.
Specify Types
Generalized: Includes most social or performance situations.
