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Read what I have to say about mental illness and pot. Read the personal stories from fellow crackwalkers
Some of the major disorders discussed and explained.
BPD Criteria Explained
Criteria #1
Criteria #2
Criteria #3
Criteria #4
Criteria #5
Criteria #6
Criteria #7
Criteria #8
Criteria #9
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BPD Criteria 4 - The Criteria Explained a Little More Clearly
(4). impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
The player will show in this paragraph
I do alot of impulsive things. I think the most remarkable thing I did so far was, I hitch-hiked across Canada- from Montreal, Quebec to Whitehorse, Yukon- one time on an impulse. A distance of over 3,000 Miles. That was a trip and a half! I had no money, no possessions, just what I had in my knapsack.. No thoughts of being raped or abducted.. just high with the thrill of it all. I used to hitch-hike all the time with no thought of danger. A couple times I got into the wrong car, but luckily got away unscathed - phsyically.
I acted out very promiscuously. I was promiscuous from about age 15 off and on until I got onto psych meds. That changed all that for good. I wouldn't say I was sex-starved, rather needing the attention and the love I thought came with it. So I'd be chasing the feeling of being loved and protected with whoever I was with that seemed sincere at the time.
I could only see that I was the centre of their attention at the time. I couldn't see it was gonna be another fuck and run.. my need for love was so strong, I couldn't see what was happening, over and over again. It took me a long time, I'm not a fast learner, to figure out that love doesn't come that way and you hurt yourself by being that way.
I drank and abused street drugs like lsd, speed, mda, and prescription drugs in mt teens. They changed my reality from the hell I lived in to a peaceful environment. I drank heavily for years. Self-medicating the pain away.
So by medicating away the pain, having sexual partners and partying I fell into my illness totally. It ruled me for many, many years. I didn't know I was sick. I only knew I was not normal. So I hid my real thoughts and fears. Kept them inside. Which fueled my AvPD.
Spending. I have been told that spending can be in the thousands creating huge debts the person could never climb out of. I'm not that bad, I don't think. Some gamble. Some Speed in their cars at dangerous high speeds. I impulsively spend my money. When I have some I spend it unwisely. I'll get on a binge.
One time I bought 7 quilts because they were pretty... they were 150.00 each and I didn't have the money.. so I took it from my bills, confident I could pay it back over time. That doesn't work because you have nothing to pay it back with so you are always in the hole.. I do this constantly. Always spending my bill money or my food money on impulse buying..
So the criteria says trouble in any two areas.. I had promiscuity, drug probs, i was drinking, and I took grave risks with the hitch-hiking.
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