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Loading player - please wait Changing Skills with Dialectual Behaviour Therapy (DBT) Dialectical Behaviour Therapy has taught me that negative emotions cause my behaviour and thoughts to react negatively as well. So it stands to reason that negative behaviour can cause negativity in thought and emotion as well as negative emotion will cause negative thought and behaviour too. When I am depressed I often do something that isn't helpful to my situation. I do all the downer things like sleep all day with the curtains closed, cancel all plans, avoid the phone, refuse to answer the door. Total dismay, every waking thought blackened by dispair. The negatives feeding on each other. Each negative behaviour, thought and emotion driving the other. On the other hand when I feel positive I produce happy energy. The positive emotions affect my behaviour just as strongly as the negative emotions. My behaviour, emotions and thoughts are all as affected as my negative ones. So, it stands to reason that if I feel depressed and find myself lying on the couch that if I get up and do something I like ---I'll feel better. Sounds so simple doesn't it. It doesn't work like that. Not on its own. I have been unsuccessful at this attempt and I am not surprised I failed. I believe you cannot do this on your own very easily. Thoughts, emotions and behaviour are connected to one another. If you change your emotions, your actions and thoughts will change. If you change your habits your thoughts and emotions will shift. If you change your thinking you will act and feel differently. These three things are joined at the hip. Some things are easier to change than others. When your behaviour is positive - you are able to be out enjoying life achieving goals etc. But if your behaviour is negative - lying on the couch all day, you think negatively about your life and yourself. Changing your behaviour can also change your mood. Instead of lying on the couch, push yourself to do a little something even if it's nothing more than a small craft activity. You begin to think about what you are doing and concentrate less on the negative side of things. The way you think about things has a major impact on your mood. Negativity is a sure way to lower your mood. If you can try to get to the positive way of thinking it makes the negatives less distressing. But "how"? Breaking a negative pattern is not easy. You must do it in small little steps - baby steps- some one coined at one time. It's not simple to change your ways. You have to make a start somewhere. Instead of the impulse to close the curtains allowing the negativity to breed, leave them open and instead of lying on the couch and watching tv, get a craft, a book, go for a walk.. anything to change the usual pattern. Of course the activity you choose must be pleasurable to yourself - something that makes you feel better. I have a page on 101 things to do... 101 things to keep busy One of the most difficult things a depressed person can do is think up things that make them feel good. Now I didn't say deleriously happy, just better than they are feeling now. Take a little time here and write down anything that has ever had a positive effect on you, your mood. Once you have a list - even two items, ask yourself which ones you could do again or more often, how many of these things have you done in the last 3 months. This is to help you think about how thought behaviour and emotions apply in your life. Your reward from this exercise is finding out there are things that are pleasurable. I'd like to start by saying self-esteem is very important so I've found a Personal Bill Of Rights. Copy this and hang it on your 'fridge. Read it every day and try to learn to accept that you are entitled to each and every one of these rights. Living Within the Moment |